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Frequently Asked Questions
It is the customary way to recognize death and its finality. Funerals are recognized rituals for the living to show respect for the dead and to help survivors begin the grief process.
Funeral directors are caregivers and administrators. They make the arrangements for transportation of the body, complete all necessary paperwork, and implement the choices made by the family regarding the funeral and final disposition of the body.
Funeral directors are listeners, advisors and supporters. They have experience assisting the bereaved in coping with death. Funeral directors are trained to answer questions about grief, recognize when a person is having difficulty coping, and recommend sources of professional help. Funeral directors also link survivors with support groups at the funeral home or in the community.
In most states, family members may bury their own dead although regulations vary. However, most people find it very trying to be solely responsible for arranging the details and legal matters surrounding a death.
In Michigan, a burial permit is required. The burial permit requires a death certificate that must be signed by a funeral director.
Viewing is part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief specialists believe that viewing aids the grief process by helping the bereaved recognize the reality of death. Viewing is encouraged for children, as long as the process is explained and the activity voluntary.
There are many things you can do. Offer sympathies and be supportive. Make arrangements to attend planned services. Send a card, flowers, or a memorial donation.
Visit Funeral Etiquette for more information and ideas.
It is very suitable for children to be involved in a funeral. The more they understand about the visitation and the funeral service before arriving, the more comfortable they are likely to be.
A funeral home is a place where people gather when someone dies. People share memories and offer support to the family and one another. At the funeral home, you may see the body in a casket, the casket may be closed, or an urn may be present. Flowers from family and friends and photos may be set up throughout the room. Some people may be crying; it is okay to show grief. It is also okay to touch the body gently; it will feel cold to the touch. For more information, please review etiquette and GriefWords "Helping Children with Funerals".
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body, retards the decomposition process, and enhances the appearance of a body disfigured by traumatic death or illness.
Embalming makes it possible to lengthen the time between death and the final disposition, thus allowing family members time to arrange and participate in the type of service most comforting to them.
No. Most states, however, require embalming when death was caused by a reportable contagious disease or when remains are to be transported from one state to another by common carrier or if final disposition is not to be made within a prescribed number of hours.
In Michigan, embalming is required if final disposition is after 48 hours.
A green funeral incorporates environmentally-friendly options in order to meet the needs of a family requesting a green service. A green funeral may include any or all of the following: a gathering in a natural setting, use of only recycled paper products, locally-grown organic flowers, carpooling, no embalming or embalming with formaldehyde-free products, the use of sustainable biodegradable clothing, shroud or casket, and natural or green burial.
In natural burial, the body is buried without the use of formaldehyde-based embalming in a natural setting. Any shroud, clothing or casket that is used must be biodegradable, nontoxic, and of sustainable material. Traditional standing headstones are not permitted. Instead, flat rocks, plants or trees may serve as grave markers.
Currently there is not a green cemetery in southeast Michigan. Some local cemeteries are developing designated areas for green burial that will have different burial requirements from other areas. Also, an increasing number of environmentally friendly funeral products, including caskets and urns, are becoming available. At A.J. Desmond & Sons we offer green burial services and would be honored to talk with you about the ever-increasing options.
Yes. Since a donation does not change the body's outward appearance, an organ donation does not interfere with funeral arrangements. For more information on organ donation, please visit www.giftoflifemichigan.org.
No, cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment for the body's final disposition and often follows a traditional funeral service. You have numerous options before and after the cremation takes place to celebrate your loved one's life. At A.J. Desmond & Sons we have a very knowledgeable staff to explain the different cremation and disposition choices.
Yes, a person who dies of an AIDS-related illness is entitled to the same service options afforded to anyone else. If public viewing is consistent with local or personal customs, that option is encouraged. Touching the deceased's face or hands is perfectly safe.
Because the grief experienced by survivors may include a variety of feelings, survivors may need even more support than survivors of non-AIDS-related deaths.
In 1998 the national average charge for an adult, full-service funeral, was $5,020. This includes our professional service charge, transfer-of remains, embalming, other preparation, use of viewing facilities, use of facilities for ceremony, hearse, limousine, and casket. The casket included in this price was an 18-gauge steel casket with velvet interior which may or may not be the most common casket chosen. Vault, cemetery and monument charges are additional.
(Source: 1999 NFDA Survey of Funeral Home Operations)
Funeral service is regulated by the FTC and state licensing boards. In most cases, the consumer should discuss problems with the funeral director first. If the dispute cannot be solved by talking with the funeral director, the consumer may wish to contact the Funeral Service Consumer Assistance Program. FSCAP provides information, mediates disputes, provides arbitration, and maintains a consumer guarantee fund for reimbursement of services rendered. (To contact FSCAP, call 708-827-6337 or 800-662-7666).
Funeral directors are caring individuals who help people deal with a very stressful time. They serve the same families 80% of the time, and many have spent most of their lives in the same community. If they took advantage of bereaved families, they could not stay in business. The fact that the average funeral home has been in business over 59 years shows that most funeral directors respect the wishes of the bereaved families.
Funeral directors look upon their profession as a service, but it is also a business. Like any business, funeral homes must make a profit to exist. As long as the profit is reasonable and the services rendered are necessary, complete, and satisfactory to the family, profit is legitimate.
No. Talking about the mark up on caskets is really not the point. Most items--clothing, furniture, jewelry--are marked up as much or more than caskets. The real question is whether the funeral director is making an excessive profit, and that answer is "No." Profits run around 12.5% before taxes -- not excessive by any standard.
Other than the family, there are veteran, union, and other organizational benefits to pay for funerals, including, in certain instances, a lump sum death payment from Social Security. In most states, some form of public aid allowances are available from either the state, county, or city or a combination.
Most funeral directors are aware of the various benefits and know how to obtain them for the indigent. However, funeral directors often absorb costs above and beyond what is provided by agencies to insure the deceased a respectable burial.
WHAT TO DO WHEN A DEATH OCCURS
Contact us as soon as a death has occurred. A time will be set up with the funeral director to come in and make arrangements. The funeral home will help coordinate arrangements with the cemetery, church and clergy.
Visit Funeral Etiquette for a more detailed explanation of terms and situations you may find yourself in.
Most funeral directors, including A.J. Desmond & Sons, are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you request immediate assistance, yes. If the family wishes to spend a short time with the deceased to say good bye, it's acceptable. They will come when your time is right.
Yes, they can assist you with out-of-state arrangements, either to transfer the remains to another state or from another state.
For more information, see Death Away From Home section.
Yes, quite often some sort of viewing precedes the actual cremation. Your funeral home can assist you with the necessary information for a funeral with a cremation following or a memorial service.
Contact us immediately, and let us coordinate with a funeral home in the area where the death has occurred. We will take charge from then on and make all the arrangements for transporting the deceased to a local funeral home for embalming and preparation for return to home. You only need contact us with some basic information and call us when you return home to set a time for an arrangement conference.
For more information, see Death Away From Home section.
If a family member dies while traveling outside the United States, contact the U.S. Embassy, and they will assist you. You should call us immediately when a death occurs abroad. We are well versed in the procedures for returning the deceased to the United States.
For more information, see Death Away From Home section.
SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS
A widow or widower age 60 or older (50 if disabled), or at any age if caring for an entitled child who is under 16 or disabled; a divorced widow or widower age 60 or older (50 if disabled) if the marriage lasted 10 years, or if caring for an entitled child who is under 16 or disabled; unmarried children up to age 18 (19 if they are attending a primary or secondary school full lime); children who were disabled before reaching 22, as long as they remained disabled; dependent parent or parents 62 or older.
You must apply in order to receive benefits. You may apply at any Social Security office or, if you wish, you may apply by telephone. Just dial the toll-free number 1-800-772-1213 and the operator will schedule an appointment for you or arrange for the local Social Security office to take your claim by telephone. You may also visit http://www.ssa.gov for more information.
See also Social Security section.
VETERANS BENEFITS
An eligible veteran must have been discharged or separated from active duty under conditions other than dishonorable and have completed the required period of service. Persons entitled to retired pay as a result of 20 years creditable service with a reserve component are eligible. A U.S. citizen who served in the armed forces of a government allied with the United States in a war also may be eligible. A 1997 law bars persons convicted of federal or state capital crimes from being buried or memorialized in one of the VA national cemeteries or in Arlington National Cemetery.
Spouses and minor children of eligible veterans and of service members also may be buried in a national cemetery. Adult children incapable of self-support due to physical or mental disability are eligible for burial. If a surviving spouse of an eligible veteran marries a nonveteran, and remarriage was terminated by divorce or death of the nonveteran, the spouse is eligible for burial in a national cemetery.
Burial benefits in a VA national cemetery include the gravesite, a headstone or marker, opening and closing of the grave, and perpetual care. Many national cemeteries have columbaria or gravesites for cremated remains. Benefits also include headstones and markers, Presidential memorial certificates, burial flags and Reimbursement of Burial Expenses, depending on the circumstances. Contact should be made to the Veterans Affairs Office to determine what benefits can be claimed and then gather the information required. The National Toll-free Number for the Veterans Affairs Office is (800) 827-1000.
See also Veterans Info section.
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